Geriatric Drinking Clubs

The Independent - “A retired schoolteacher has spoken of how he became trapped for four days in the lavatory of his local bowling club. David Leggat, who is a regular customer at Abberdeen's Kittybrewster and Woodside Bowling Club, walked into the lavatory on Monday, when the door slammed behind him and became jammed. Cut off from the outside world with no access to any sustenance other than water, Mr Leggat had to wait for four nights in the bitter cold before Cathay Scollay, the club's cleaner, heard his cries for help and sounded the alarm.”

So the real question here is what was he doing all alone at the bowling club? Clearly this story makes no sense, and is probably the cover he’s using so his nagging wife will get off his back about drinking at the bowling alley every night. Four days “locked in the bathroom” sounds like a metaphor for a four day raging binger with co-conspiring geriatrics. Please note that this guy is the bowling club’s wine convenor (and here you thought bowling was all about beer and fries; not in Scotland, they class those balls up over there), thus granting him unfettered access to all the booze. He’s even quoted as saying "The only thing I regret is not getting trapped behind the bar." C’mon Leggat, fess up, you thought you were in the bar the whole time because you were too tanked to tell the difference.