Wow

what do you get when you mix Japan's love of classical instruments, technological innovation and shitty fashion sense? This ridiculously talented girl with a stupid hat and boa. And whats with the crowd reaction? that shit was crazy and like 4 people applaud. . .

The Ukraine has The Right Idea

You gotta hand it to the ukraine. while the US army is promising to make us stronger and tougher, The Ukraine has caught on to something that apparently our army hasn't yet - chicks dig army guys. My question is, how did they get all these hot ukrainian chicks into this video? Because lets be honest the girls in this ad must represent at least 90% of the Ukraine's hot chick population. . .

Apparently Lack of Talent is Contagious

Jessica Simpson came out to show her support for her new succubal target, Tony Romo yesterday. This leach just works from talented person to talented person sucking all the life out of them, and then moving on. First, the mega-star Nick Lachey, then dreamboat John Mayer and now Cowboy's superstar Romo (who went 13-33 with 3 interceptions and a fumble on sunday). I haven't seen a talent vaccuum operate with this kind of efficiency since the last time i was in Detroit. moral of the story - Detroit Sucks.

Hillary Drank From The Wrong Grail

Hillary took a break from the campaign trail this weekend and headed to Alexandretta where she was pennetant before god, made a leap of faith across an invisible bridge and then overpowered a 2000 year old knight in order to drink from the holy grail. but it seems from these pictures that she did not choose wisely. . .

Man Chugs Bottle of Vodka in Airport Security Line

BERLIN - A man nearly died from alcohol poisoning after quaffing a liter (two pints) of vodka at an airport security check instead of handing it over to comply with new carry-on rules, police said Wednesday.The incident occurred at the Nuremberg airport on Tuesday, where the 64-year-old man was switching planes on his way home to Dresden from a holiday in Egypt. New airport rules prohibit passengers from carrying larger quantities of liquid onto planes, and he was told at a security check he would have to either throw out the bottle of vodka or pay a fee to have his carry-on bag checked as cargo. Instead, he chugged the bottle down — and was quickly unable to stand or otherwise function, police said.

Damn, i gotta give this guy some serious credit. Way to stick it to the man. I'm willing to bet his medical bills were way more expensive than any fee he would have had to pay to check his bags, but that didn't bother this guy. He said "fuck you" to security and chugged it right in their faces. he later collapsed, vomited on himself and probably shit his pants, but hey, totally worth it.

p.s. hasn't this guy ever heard of duty free?

p.p.s If you aint chugginnnnnn' youre jerkinnnnnn' (for my Duke boys)

read the full article here.

Geriatric Drinking Clubs

The Independent - “A retired schoolteacher has spoken of how he became trapped for four days in the lavatory of his local bowling club. David Leggat, who is a regular customer at Abberdeen's Kittybrewster and Woodside Bowling Club, walked into the lavatory on Monday, when the door slammed behind him and became jammed. Cut off from the outside world with no access to any sustenance other than water, Mr Leggat had to wait for four nights in the bitter cold before Cathay Scollay, the club's cleaner, heard his cries for help and sounded the alarm.”

So the real question here is what was he doing all alone at the bowling club? Clearly this story makes no sense, and is probably the cover he’s using so his nagging wife will get off his back about drinking at the bowling alley every night. Four days “locked in the bathroom” sounds like a metaphor for a four day raging binger with co-conspiring geriatrics. Please note that this guy is the bowling club’s wine convenor (and here you thought bowling was all about beer and fries; not in Scotland, they class those balls up over there), thus granting him unfettered access to all the booze. He’s even quoted as saying "The only thing I regret is not getting trapped behind the bar." C’mon Leggat, fess up, you thought you were in the bar the whole time because you were too tanked to tell the difference.

Ashanti's Sister Got Screwed

Damn, talk about getting the short end of the genetic stick. . . This is Ashanti's sister "Shi shi" who, as i can only guess from the picture, and lack of Ashanti press lately, ate her sister in some sort of Cookie Monster-esque pop star binge. I would say she probably ate Ja Rule and Irv Gotti too, but i think i just passed them on the street this morning begging for fur coats outside of Dunkin Donuts.

Santa's Got Sex On The Brain?

Associated Press - Microsoft Corp. quickly shut down Santa Claus’ Web privileges after it found out the automated elf it created for kids to instant message with was talking naughty, not nice. Last year, Microsoft encouraged kids to connect directly to “Santa” by adding northpolelive.com to their Windows Live Messenger contact lists. The Santa program, which Microsoft reactivated in early December, asked children what they wanted for Christmas and could respond on topic, thanks to artificial intelligence.

Apparently someone was instant messaging with "Santa" and repeatedly invited him over to eat pizza. St. Nick's response..."You want me to eat what?!? It’s fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else.” I don't really know where to go with this one. Pizza? You're telling me that in an effort to win some one on one time with Santa you go to Pizza as your outpitch? Poor effort. Milk and cookies...milk and cookies...

On a separate note, what will we tell the kids when they see Santa getting grilled by Chris Hanson on To Catch A Predator: Northpole? They have the chatlogs, Santa.....What were you gonna do?

Who Is Anthony Smith?

More importantly, who's he kidding? For those of you who don't know, Anthony Smith is the second-year free safety for the Pittsburgh Steelers who guaranteed a victory this Sunday over the undefeated Patriots. Is this guy kidding me? Did he just ask for an ass-kicking? They only thing you can guarantee come Sunday is that Tom Brady and Randy Moss will make him pay for those words...probably a few times...

For the record I am not a Patriots fan....and I hate the Red Sox...